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Big Lizard Wisdom

We’re so far ahead of the curve that when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he discovered two missed calls from Lizard Lick Towing.

Favorite Verses

I can squeeze a quarter so tight i can make George Washington say uncle.

Dirt Word

It’s darkest before the dawn so if you’re going to roll your neighbor’s house that’s the time to do it.


You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can’t wipe your friends on your seat, so make sure when you’re picking, be smart.


Adversity is not the reaction of self to unforeseen hardships, rather the action taken by self to muscle forward rather than try and go around.