| Xanax, the miracle drug that was made solely for the purpose of riding shotgun when your fifteen year old daughter is driving. |
| Only two people have given their life for you, Jesus and the American Soldier. Thank one and pray to the other. |
| It’s okay if you’re not in tune with people around you, because to succeed you have to march to the beat of a different drum, and that might change your walk. |
| My son just told me if I stand in a mirror and put my lips together slowly I could see myself shutting up. I know he’s been around Amy too long. |
When u wink at a married woman with her husband standing there, don’t whine when you can’t see out of that eye for 3 days due to signifcant swelling.
