You never truly learn to swear until you learn to drive and the more you complain the longer God makes you live
Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear and Chuck Norris wears Bobby Brantley underwear.
| Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Call them steps outside and stairs inside? Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? |
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future
| To the ones who feel alone, seem lost, think nobody cares, go to bed alone, cry with no shoulder, and the ones in the left field, I respect you, because I used to be you. |
