Why doesn’t glue ever stick to the inside of the bottle?
I’ll cut you down like Paul Bunyon on a rosebush, splice you like LeBron James vs a high school defense and make you disappear like Charles Barkley’s hair
| Guys, when you’re scared to death, look to the one that gave life, then look to the one he put by your side. It cost us a rib, a small price to pay. |
| A buddy of mine just introduced me to his new lady. She’s a moped girl, the kind you want to ride, but don’t want your friends to catch you on. |
Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear and Chuck Norris wears Bobby Brantley underwear.