| That moment when you realize the guy in line behind you’s momma should have dropped him on his head at birth and sold the milk. |
| Pondering today if you pull the wings off a fly does he then become a walk? |
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
I’m just in love with a woman more perfect than perfection, prettier than a speckled pup and hotter tan a fire ants nest in a flash flood
| The only thing I have ever seen in the middle of the road is dead and stinks. Take a stand, choose a side or become a casualty of uncertainty. |
