| The early bird gets the worm but the fat happy worm sleeps late. So today will you be the bird or the worm? |
| You’d rather be super glued to a bar of soap on the shower floor of a men’s prison than to cross Amy. She’s tougher than a 3 dollar pig steak. |
| You should treat your friends like family, and your family like friends, because that’s how high you step, like a rooster in deep mud with tube socks on. |
| Ever meet someone who proved as soon as they opened their mouth everything they learned came from watching Gilligan’s Island. |
| Been watching Hatfields & Mccoy’s awesome show. It’s just a shame that feud started over a de-friending on Facebook and some derogatory tweets. |