| Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.” |
| The maximum effective range of an excuse is 0.0 inches. Remember the only difference in a rut and a grave is the depth, so don’t dig your own. |
| Being on TV doesn’t make us famous anymore than being born in the mud makes us pigs. God put us here, fans keep us here. |
| You know what makes me so mad that I wanna catch a Nolan Ryan fastball with my teeth, people who talk to their kids like their dogs. It makes them the animal. |
| If you feel more overwhelmed than a one arm paper hanger with jock itch, then your in the middle of the road. All I’ve ever seen there is dead and stinks. |
