| We’re so far ahead of the curve that when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he discovered two missed calls from Lizard Lick Towing. |
| I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones who do. |
| You know what makes me so mad I could catch a Nolan Ryan fastball with my teeth, Mopeds in the left lane of a interstate. |
| If you want a friend, be a friend. You want a soul mate, be honest and faithful. You want someone to fight for you, stand in front of them and take their blows. |
| Why grab the bull and get the horns when you can shoot the bull and get the steaks. Leaves you as confused as Mike Tyson at a spelling bee, doesn’t it? |
