| I felt all day like I was smothered by the absence of sophistication while drowning in the abundance of ignorance using an inflatable dartboard. |
U were born an original don’t die a copy. Your tougher than woodpecker lips dipped in cement. Yous slicker than a greased pig at a Mongolian bbq.
If I had a gun with two bullets and was in a room with a cobra, a lion, and Lars Dixon I would shoot Lars Dixon twice.
| You know what makes me so mad that I wanna catch a Nolan Ryan fastball with my teeth, people who talk to their kids like their dogs. It makes them the animal. |
| I’d rather have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits and ride a three humped camel across a rock quarry than go home with a mad redhead. |
