Celebrity Fans
Why do they put flotation devices under the seats of planes and not parachutes?
| You’d rather strip naked, dip yourself in honey and throw yourself on fire ants than jump on Amy. |
| Lying through your teeth doesn’t count as flossing. |
| I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones who do. |
| Xanax, the miracle drug that was made solely for the purpose of riding shotgun when your fifteen year old daughter is driving. |