In life I’ve learned that feasting on anything – never let it consume you, consume it. Because pigs are fat but hogs are slaughtered
| When I got married it was to Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was always. |
| You want to know how a country family is doing? Look at their barns, not their houses. |
| To the Ones who watch movies alone on Friday night—the ones that eat a meal by themselves– the ones that are avoided on a bus–the ones who sleep alone to wake to emptiness–to the ones who shop with no one to buy for–the ones who truly understand left field–the ones who don’t follow the crowd–today I am thinking of you. |
| I’d rather have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits and ride a three humped camel across a rock quarry than go home with a mad redhead. |
