| Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.” |
| Sometime you only get one shot at something so use a hand grenade because it has a much better blast radius. |
| Dealing with women is a lot like eating artichokes, you have to go through so much to get so little. |
| Lying through your teeth doesn’t count as flossing. |
| I felt all day like I was smothered by the absence of sophistication while drowning in the abundance of ignorance using an inflatable dartboard. |