Rockingham County Fair – Harrisonburg, Va August 22, 2015
I met a guy that is so backwoods that he chapped his lips on the cows udder getting milk and he lost his tongue opening up a can of Copenhagen
| Don’t be upset when you ask people to be puppets, and then they don’t move unless you pull strings. If you want control, you have to know how to handle it. |
Stop spending you life trying to find yourself and start spending your life making yourself into something
| You’d rather be super-glued to the underbelly of a moose in rutting season than to call Amy out, because it’s easier to get on that train than to get off. |
Why doesn’t glue ever stick to the inside of the bottle?