30th ANNUAL LIZARD LICK FESTIVAL
| If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless? If you’re driving the speed of light and turn on the lights, what happens? |
I think the only reason my mother in law wasn’t with Noah on the ark, is they couldn’t find another monster I mean animal that looked like her.
If your dog doesn’t like you, chances are you wife/girlfriend won’t either
| All polar bears are left-handed, and when a bat leaves a cave, they always turn left. |
| Today’s simply yesterday rolled into hope and yesterday is today rolled into regrets. All we have left is tomorrow which hasn’t been rolled yet. |