30th ANNUAL LIZARD LICK FESTIVAL
I think the only reason my mother in law wasn’t with Noah on the ark, is they couldn’t find another monster I mean animal that looked like her.
| A buddy of mine just introduced me to his new lady. She’s a moped girl, the kind you want to ride, but don’t want your friends to catch you on. |
100 % of all divorces start with marriage
| Don’t be upset when you ask people to be puppets, and then they don’t move unless you pull strings. If you want control, you have to know how to handle it. |
Stop telling God to look how big your problems are, rather start telling your problems to look how big your God is