| Lying through your teeth doesn’t count as flossing. |
| You should try picking people up not putting them down, or the only place you’ll find sympathy is between “symbol” and “syphilis” in the dictionary. |
In order for a butterfly to be born a caterpillar must die
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
| You should avoid people who have champagne taste with flat beer pocketbooks, or ones who are all hat and no cattle. |