30th ANNUAL LIZARD LICK FESTIVAL
| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
| Best line in a movie “they’re almost like gods”. “Ma’am, there’s only one god, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.” – Captain America |
| Only two people have given their life for you, Jesus and the American Soldier. Thank one and pray to the other. |
You know it’s time to close your mouth when either you find yourself in deep water or you start making Forest Gump sound articulate.
Even a dog know the difference in being stepped on or kicked.