30th ANNUAL LIZARD LICK FESTIVAL
| To the Ones who watch movies alone on Friday night—the ones that eat a meal by themselves– the ones that are avoided on a bus–the ones who sleep alone to wake to emptiness–to the ones who shop with no one to buy for–the ones who truly understand left field–the ones who don’t follow the crowd–today I am thinking of you. |
| I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones who do. |
Your nose is close to your mouth for a reason. Try figuring it out before you walk up, breath smelling like you just chewed a butthole out of a skunk.
| Hard to have a battle of wits with someone half armed verbally. You’d rather go skinny dipping with snapping turtles than to fish this creek. |
I met a guy that is so backwoods that he chapped his lips on the cows udder getting milk and he lost his tongue opening up a can of Copenhagen