Never lock horns with a man named after a forest animal
Only a real friends can distinguish between a real, I’m doing alright and a fake one. Only a real friend can tell there is hurt in your smile
I tried reading 50 Shade of Grey to see how to treat women but it was just too black and white.
| If you feel more overwhelmed than a one arm paper hanger with jock itch, then your in the middle of the road. All I’ve ever seen there is dead and stinks. | 
Stop telling me about the hundred reasons you have to cry and worry, rather let me hear about the thousand reasons you have to laugh and smile