You never truly learn to swear until you learn to drive and the more you complain the longer God makes you live
| There’s a world of difference in dancing with the devil and sleeping with him, because telling a man to go to hell and making him are two different ventures. |
I’ll cut you down like Paul Bunyon on a rosebush, splice you like LeBron James vs a high school defense and make you disappear like Charles Barkley’s hair
If love is truly blind tell me why lingerie seems to be so popular?
Some folks are as useless as an ashtray on a motorcycle