| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
With God all things are possible, not easy
| It’s darkest before the dawn so if you’re going to roll your neighbor’s house that’s the time to do it. |
| After two hours of arguing with Amy, I have decided there are two theories to arguing with women and neither one of them works. |
| Great legacies are not achieved by what you did or how you got there. The greatest legacies are carved out in the very essence of who you are. |