When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
The further society drifts from the truth the more it will hate those of us that speak it
Never cry when someone leaves your life. Be thankful for the time us spent and the opportunity 2 find the one that will never leave
If a cat lands feet first, and butter toast always falls butter side down, what happens when you glue buttered toast to a cat’s back and toss them off a roof? |
The mosquito that bit him last night is hungover this morning.