Big Lizard Wisdom

When life gives you lemons, don’t fret. Cut them up and squeeze them into your buddies eyes, then you will learn to appreciate their power.

Favorite Verses

Woman are like artichokes, you gotta go through so much to get so little, but you would rather dip yourself in honey and roll around on a fire ants nest than 2 cross them.

Dirt Word

I was in line today behind a guy that was living proof evolution can go in reverse.  If you’re gonna be stupid you’d better be tough.  He wasn’t.


Marriage is grand but divorce is a few hundred grand.


You’ll will never be able to be perfect but if you pursue perfection without fail you will find that you become and excellent substitute