|Why is it things we love in live leave way too quickly and things we hate seem to never go away.|
|Only think slicker than a greased pig turned politician is a harpooned in a banana tree dipped in butter.|
I think the only reason my mother in law wasn’t with Noah on the ark, is they couldn’t find another monster I mean animal that looked like her.
It’s easy to change the world by simply changing the way that you view it
|You know what makes me so mad I could catch a Nolan Ryan fastball with my teeth, Mopeds in the left lane of a interstate.|