Celebrity Fans
| Some days I feel like the redneck Confucius. Nobody really understands me, but I can put a sheet on in the mirror, “hmm wuusaaa”, and feel wise. |
| Be careful what you speak today–to get the truth around the world you must hire a herd of bulls and drag it a foot at a time–but a lie will fly like an eagle and is carried around the world with nothing but breath so speak kindly today to someone you don’t care for and smile at the ones who are against you by doing so. |
| Life’s lesson #192: You can turn a housewife into a whore, but you can never turn a whore into a housewife. |
Commit to the Lord, whatever you do and your plans will succeed
| It’s always darkest before the dawn so if you’re gonna steal your neighbors paper, that’s the time to do it. |