| That awkward moment when you realize when your wife said she was hungry you were not supposed to say “me too, what are you cooking for dinner?” |
| Be careful never to corner anything meaner than you. |
Bobby’s tougher than Tarzan feet, twenty year old shoe leather, a three dollar pig steak, a ten year old government mule and garlic toast breath
Remember everyone in your life will be one of two things, a blessing or a lesson, either way they will serve a purpose
| Xanax, the miracle drug that was made solely for the purpose of riding shotgun when your fifteen year old daughter is driving. |