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| If you find a diamond in a goat’s butt you have to question your reason for being there. You must question the true value of the diamond. |
| Hard to have a battle of wits with someone half armed verbally. You’d rather go skinny dipping with snapping turtles than to fish this creek. |
| We traded cigarette billboards on interstates for topless bar ads. Guess those folks figure there’s no difference in dancing with the devil and sleeping with him. |
| Ways to say yes. “Does howdy doody got wooden balls?”, “Rattlesnakes kiss gently”, Cat’s got climbing gear”, “fat puppy’s like parked cars”. |
| You’d rather skinny dip with great whites after bathing in a pool of used razor blades than cross a fiery redhead on her birthday. |