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| I’d rather have hemorrhoids the size of grapefruits and ride a three humped camel across a rock quarry than go home with a mad redhead. |
Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear and Chuck Norris wears Bobby Brantley underwear.
| Just remarried my best friend grinning like a possum in a persimmons tree and realized that I married up so far I need an elevator pass. |
Everyone I see now adays are just trying to fit in. They spend hours on end finding a way to do so but as for me I just want to stand out
I would rather crawl on my hands and knees for Jesus than two walk on my feet for any person – Think what you want about me I answer to a higher power