| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
| What you say does not purify you . Where you live doesn’t identify you. What you do doesn’t solidify you. Your beliefs are what both defy and define you. |
If a turtle looses his shell is he then homeless or naked.
| I’ll smack you so hard your tongue will wrap around your eye tooth and you won’t be able to see what you’re gonna say next. |
| That awkward moment when you realize when your wife said she was hungry you were not supposed to say “me too, what are you cooking for dinner?” |