| God grant me serenity, patience & Rachel Ray as my wife’s new best friend cause if you can smell what’s cooking at the house, Amy burned dinner again. |
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future
| If your days are filled with hate, your life will be filled with hurt. Remember scars are tattoos with better stories but not self-inflicted ones. |
| Ever meet someone who proved as soon as they opened their mouth everything they learned came from watching Gilligan’s Island. |
| I once had a college essay on what’s courage and got an A when I turned in a blank paper with my name on top. That’s slicker than eel snot. |