| The maximum effective range of an excuse is 0.0 inches. Remember the only difference in a rut and a grave is the depth, so don’t dig your own. |
It’s been a rough day. I feel like the southern end of a north bound mule. Everything has gone backwards but it’s days like this that fortify faith
If you are going to eat it don’t name it
| A buddy of mine just introduced me to his new lady. She’s a moped girl, the kind you want to ride, but don’t want your friends to catch you on. |
| Three-hundred sixty-five days in a year, earth going around the sun twenty-four hours in a day. One revolution of the earth, both scientific seven days in a week? Only in Genesis. |