| On the way to a wake, thinking that love isn’t love until you give it away, but if you wait too long it’s like being a blind man at a silent movie. |
Some folks are as confused as an Amish electrician at a power plant or as lost as Mike Tyson at a spelling bee
| Dealing with women is a lot like eating artichokes, you have to go through so much to get so little. |
| Only think slicker than a greased pig turned politician is a harpooned in a banana tree dipped in butter. |
| I’ve discovered that Amy Shirley is so bad that she can do a front kick on your telephone and give everyone in your address book a black eye. |