| The longest sentence in the world is “I do.” |
Never wrestle with a pig, chances are you are just gonna get dirty and only the pig will like it.
| If you’re gonna swim in the deep waters of life, make sure you’re not skinny dipping with piranhas or you might wind up with the short end of the stick. |
| When you can’t see the bright side of life, try polishing the dull side. Your brightest epiphany will come in your darkest hour. |
If I was your dad I would have spent the first year of your life trying to hunt down and kill the stork.