Licksgiving Celebration at the Lick 2014
| In New York City I’ve learned that the reason we can’t find a good leader in this country is there all here driving cabs. |
| Remember you will learn more about the soul of someone in a simple moment of honesty than you will ever learn from them in a lifetime of lies. |
| The maximum effective range of an excuse is 0.0 inches. Remember the only difference in a rut and a grave is the depth, so don’t dig your own. |
| Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Call them steps outside and stairs inside? Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? |
| You’d rather skinny dip with great whites after bathing in a pool of used razor blades than cross a fiery redhead on her birthday. |