| Lying through your teeth doesn’t count as flossing. |
| When stepping up, be prepared to take a few blows intended to knock you back. It’s the way you respond that will determine if you rise or fall. |
| If you try arguing with someone so dumb that they need watering, then you might as well wipe your butt with a wagon wheel… there isn’t any end to that either. |
| We traded cigarette billboards on interstates for topless bar ads. Guess those folks figure there’s no difference in dancing with the devil and sleeping with him. |
| Two things everyone should be taught, is to never go skinny dipping with snapping turtles, and never lock horns with a man named after a forest animal. |