| All polar bears are left-handed, and when a bat leaves a cave, they always turn left. |
| Some days I feel like the redneck Confucius. Nobody really understands me, but I can put a sheet on in the mirror, “hmm wuusaaa”, and feel wise. |
| If you’re going to be stupid you’d better be tough cause even a dog knows the difference in being stepped on or kicked. Bites happen. |
| When the boogey man goes to sleep every night he looks under the bed for Bobby Brantley. |
| Don’t think what can I do different this year, rather think how can I make a difference. Don’t make a resolution, be a solution. |