| Some days I feel like the redneck Confucius. Nobody really understands me, but I can put a sheet on in the mirror, “hmm wuusaaa”, and feel wise. |
Common sense is like a hot shower, the people who need it the most use it the least.
I just saw a lady that had more wrinkles that a elephants ball sack. More rolls than a New York bakery. More chins than a Chinese phone book.
If you are going to eat it don’t name it
I just met a guy that would be vastly improved upon by death.