| When life gives you lemons, cut em in half and squirt them in your buddies eyes and watch as they roll around like a harpooned hippo in a banana tree. |
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye opener. That’s why life is grand and divorce is a few hundred grand
| The only thing I have ever seen in the middle of the road is dead and stinks. Take a stand, choose a side or become a casualty of uncertainty. |
What would the Aflac duck do for additional insurance if he was injured moonlighting for Geico trying to save 15% in 15 minutes
Failing doing something you love will bring more happiness than succeeding doing something you hate.